Drowning or Swimming: Mac Miller's Emotional Journey in His Fifth Studio Album

Experience the depth of Mac Miller's 'Swimming,' an album exploring themes of addiction, depression, and the human struggle for inner peace.

Rest in Peace, Mac Miller.

Throughout his four previous albums, Miller has delved into themes such as youth, addiction, love, and a pervasive undercurrent of depression and fear of the unknown. With 12 mixtapes and five studio albums to his credit, it is evident that Miller is a rapper who relentlessly pursues artistic innovation in his music.

Mac Miller delves into the familiar territories of heartache, depression, addiction, and a troubled disregard for his existence on his fifth studio album, Swimming. However, amidst these oft-treaded themes, Miller also embarks on a journey to discover and attain inner peace. In contrast to his previous works, such as Watching Movies and Faces, where Miller succumbed to melancholy and reported it plainly with little action, Swimming showcases his determination to overcome his struggles.

Swimming, despite its title, does not resemble an action film. Instead, it presents an authentic portrayal of the experience of attempting and failing repeatedly and of being more enamored with one's failures than one's well-being. The album commences with a subdued plea, revealing that even after all these years, Mac Miller still requires saving from himself—a quality that endears him to his fans.

From the outset, Swimming explores dichotomies; within the first minute alone, we are confronted with the contrasting concepts of swimming and drowning—a theme that permeates throughout the entire album. At times, we find ourselves merely treading water (as in "Perfecto"), while at other moments, we are plummeting deeper into the abyss (as in "Ladders").

Miller is confronting his most significant challenge through his involvement in Swimming: a yearning to feel better and a compulsion to self-destruct. The album's title, Swimming, is aptly chosen since swimming is essentially the act of actively preventing oneself from drowning. The album delves into various topics, including addiction, loneliness, and the dangers of fame. It's apparent that Mac Miller hasn't experienced his "Best Day Ever" in quite some time, but this is simply the nature of life; one must endure long enough to witness their aspirations come to fruition. Miller articulates this sentiment in the penultimate emotional track, "2009," with the lyrics "You gotta jump in to swim," indicating that the only way to live life is to experience it fully.

Miller's interpretation of "feeling through it" is expressed by creating cathartic music. The arrangement of Swimming resembles a feature film score, evoking thoughts of a Disney movie, albeit with a negative undertone. While tracks such as "Hurt Feelings" and "What's the Use?" exhibit funky elements and smooth vocals, their lyrical content hints at something more ominous. These moments of cognitive dissonance are partially resolved through stormy beat switches, the crackle of "Wings," and varying vocal pitches. However, Swimming often juxtaposes beautiful melodies with melancholic themes to provoke contemplation. In 2013, Miller sang "You hurt so good," and in 2018, his album is nothing short of incredible pain music.

Mac Miller focuses on the album's arrangement, precise momentum, and motif. This is achieved primarily through cascading keys and soaring strings, followed by the writing and vocal performance. The album is characterized by a palpable tension and internal conflict, leaving listeners eagerly awaiting Miller's resolution. However, rather than providing a definitive exhale, Miller entrusts the instrumental elements to guide the listener through grand swells, building and easing as necessary.

The album does not appear to suffer from a lack of features or the expected hit songs. However, there are instances where Swimming teeters on the edge of release but only partially takes the leap forward. "Conversation, Pt. 1" becomes a point of discomfort due to Mac's lively delivery, leading listeners to anticipate a release of pent-up energy accumulated in the preceding eight tracks. Regrettably, this release never materializes. While this may be Mac's personal reality, as he expresses in "Small Worlds," it still can unsettle listeners within the album's context.

In contrast, let us consider the album GO:OD AM from 2015 and the exceptional job done by "When In Rome" in resetting the pacing before leading us into the stunning piano ballad "ROS." These vocal fluctuations are overtly present but are avoided in Swimming. The album is characterized by cool colors and pacing closest to heat, allowing emotions to simmer and swirl, much like they spiral down an ocean rift. As a result, much of the sentiment on the album is submerged. On tracks such as "Perfecto" and "Small Worlds," Miller expresses frustration with himself and his neurotic tendencies while attempting to calm himself down from an anxious state. This results in rap verses that are understated in nature, with Mac's cadence possessing a soft haze.

Swimming can be likened to a turning gear, each bar contributing to the overall movement of the album. While Mac Miller's previous projects have provided insight into his psyche, none have been as intricate and satisfying as Swimming, surpassing Faces. Although Mac Miller's works are often characterized by their expansiveness, Swimming incorporates the timely themes of The Divine Feminine and applies them to his most captivating subject matter. Consequently, the outcome is one of Mac Miller's most fulfilling musical endeavors.

In light of the preceding, what is the outcome? The concluding track, "So It Goes," fails to impart the comfort and solace of reaching solid ground. Instead, it conveys that we are progressively delving into the submerged realm Mac Miller sought to inhabit through his music. The album's sentiments remain tense, and the sharp percussion on "So It Goes" proves this. In any event, Swimming represents Mac Miller's self-examination.

The intended takeaway from this album is that Mac Miller has finally found peace, as evidenced by his humorous self-referencing. However, the reality is that our emotional struggles remain constant and unattainable. Depression, addiction, anxiety, and similar afflictions have no universal remedy. Instead, we must acknowledge that each day presents an opportunity to take a positive step forward in a seemingly endless journey. This realization can either empower us to float or leave us feeling numb and overwhelmed by the monotony of it all, leading to our eventual drowning. Alternatively, we can follow Mac Miller's example and confront our innermost truths head-on while persevering through life's challenges by swimming forward.